
Pic designed by me.
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"Yeah from today I took my final decision… I won't wait for her and waste my precious time as i wasted two whole years. For the first time, i want to live my life for me. I also have a right to choose what's good for me and what's not. Now I realize that I was too easy to play with. I don't want it to be that way. Not anymore!" That's wat i said 4 months ago...
But now my heart has turned over the other way… Don't ask me WHY.. Coz even I don't know why I am thinking abt her and wanting to talk her… But I know now again I really want her.. I believe what others say too.. I talked some ppl abt this and they all said same thing.. She betrayed me for nothing and now again I am trying to get her.. So same thing might happen later again.. How is it possible to trust her that she won't do it.. She must think that i'm also of some value & i'm not a toy to throw away without showing any valid reason.. Most of them tell me, if she comes to me and tell me why she did it or if she apologize then it's ok to be with her.. Coz I apologized for what I did to her.. Yeah I believe that but what to do.. I controlled my heart for four months but now ….. I always tell everyone (my friends) "if once a girl/boy betrays you, don't even think of going back to her/him. You should have some value in front of them. There are lots of girls/boys out there." bt when it comes to me what happened to me??? Sometimes my heart says to do that n sometimes it says not to do this…..
Tomorrow she will finish her first semester exam.. for the past 4 months I never tried to talk her, not coz I didn't want to.. But coz of her studies I didn't want to disturb her… I still love her and I need her… I know still my family wants her back..
My heart says talk to her and try to get her… So do I have to call her?? Will she talk to me?? Am I going to do a right thing?? Why am I thinking to do this??? If I don't try to talk her, can I get her?? Telling that's her fault, she betrayed me and staying like this, can I get her??? Without trying can anyone reach their goal??? If I talk her first, am I a looser??
Pic taken from deviantart
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I have done an ear surgery on 20th April. I went to the hospital early morning at 6:00 and got admitted there. My mom is also here for my surgery and my friend’s cousin, aunt and two of my neighbors also went to the hospital. I got registered and was taken to the room and they did an ECG and blood sugar test. Later they gave me a green pajama to wear and were taken to the theatre. I wasn’t very scared but was little.
In the theatre, doctor was going to give an injection, but I told him that I’m scared of injections. He used a good technique by keeping me busy in a conversation with him, asking about my age, no. of girlfriends I had and then I realized I was given the IV. And then they put a mask over my face and everything blacked out.
I woke up in the room having a bandage around my head. It was my first surgery and things weren’t that bad as I thought. The doctor and the nurses were really kind and helpful at any time I needed them. Thanks all who came to visit me and helped me in everything.
When I am fully recovered, I will try to update my blog again :D
Pic taken from deviantart
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Yeah just now I received a mail from her.. It says it’s the end of our relationship… Why?? I know it’s all my fault... and I believe that from my heart…
What do i do? When i wanted her more than anyone & when i realized my fault and tried to make it right, she said goodbye! Now it hurts me a lot....
Anyways, I wish her a happy life and a bright future..
Pic taken from deviantart
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