Wednesday, May 28, 2008

What am I thinking to do now??? Why am I thinking to do that now???

"Yeah from today I took my final decision… I won't wait for her and waste my precious time as i wasted two whole years. For the first time, i want to live my life for me. I also have a right to choose what's good for me and what's not. Now I realize that I was too easy to play with. I don't want it to be that way. Not anymore!" That's wat i said 4 months ago...

But now my heart has turned over the other way… Don't ask me WHY.. Coz even I don't know why I am thinking abt her and wanting to talk her… But I know now again I really want her.. I believe what others say too.. I talked some ppl abt this and they all said same thing.. She betrayed me for nothing and now again I am trying to get her.. So same thing might happen later again.. How is it possible to trust her that she won't do it.. She must think that i'm also of some value & i'm not a toy to throw away without showing any valid reason.. Most of them tell me, if she comes to me and tell me why she did it or if she apologize then it's ok to be with her.. Coz I apologized for what I did to her.. Yeah I believe that but what to do.. I controlled my heart for four months but now ….. I always tell everyone (my friends) "if once a girl/boy betrays you, don't even think of going back to her/him. You should have some value in front of them. There are lots of girls/boys out there." bt when it comes to me what happened to me??? Sometimes my heart says to do that n sometimes it says not to do this…..

Tomorrow she will finish her first semester exam.. for the past 4 months I never tried to talk her, not coz I didn't want to.. But coz of her studies I didn't want to disturb her… I still love her and I need her… I know still my family wants her back..

My heart says talk to her and try to get her… So do I have to call her?? Will she talk to me?? Am I going to do a right thing?? Why am I thinking to do this??? If I don't try to talk her, can I get her?? Telling that's her fault, she betrayed me and staying like this, can I get her??? Without trying can anyone reach their goal??? If I talk her first, am I a looser??

Pic taken from deviantart


nadhee said...

all i wanna say is move on dear! life is short so make use of the time without waiting for something to happen...good luck!

thewildhunter said...

thnx N.Sis :D

cyberkid said...

Just like nads said, u can hope things will happen or dream about them...Why waste the time hoping and dreamin while u can do it? or make it happen? u have the power, u make ur own decisions...just take a risk, either way u'll win ;)