Saturday, October 11, 2008

Love is not a heart of life, its only a part of life...


On last semester break, I flew to my country, hoping for happiness and joyful moments with my family and friends... Somehow, my trip back to Maldives was planned with two missions... One was to spend a joyous time with my family and friends... The other main reason was to meet a girl who has always had a special place in my heart... With all my luck, I met her and things went as planned...

When I told my friends that I was going to meet her, nobody liked it... But I convinced them to believe that I wasn't going to start a relationship with her or to propose her... When I told them that I only want to talk to her, they all were some what okay with it... I didn't want her to see that I have some feelings to her... Though she knew it, I didn't want to talk to her on that topic... There were so many reasons that I can't explain here... And I can still taste the bitterness of my relationship with a girl and coz of that now I don't want to trust any girl and I can't do that...

But still I kept my feelings on one side and went to meet her... We met each other near one famous shop in Male'... Because it was just to see each other, we didn't wait long to talk... But two or three days later, we met in a restaurant... All she wanted was to share the story of her life... She almost told me everything about her life... The moment she told me the story, my heart broke into pieces... But still, I forced my self to keep the love I have to her in a side and offer a hand of friendship... She also wanted to have a good friendship with me... That's what she only wants...

Since that day, I kept thinking about her more... We were almost always connected through sms and calls... But, coz of some busy time she had, we lost connection for a week... Those days I was in my island with my family, but I started to miss her... I started thinking about her in the night when I go to sleep... I knew what was happening to me... Slowly what all my counselors (my buddies) kept telling started to happen... I got lost in her world... No matter how much I tried, I knew I cant stay away from her...

Later again, when she was free from her work, we started exchanging msgs... But unlike last time, i tried to keep distance. I took the decision again by thinking of the last relationship I had and coz of some other reasons... But still, the night before I came to sri lanka, I talked to her over the phone for a very long time... When the call ended, I was crying deep inside...

Now I rarely meet her, and most of the times I'm lost in her thoughts... No matter how hard I try not to think, I think about her... I always want to meet her and keep waiting for a time when she comes online...

As far as I know, she will know how I feel about her... Though I didn't want to show it to her, I told her of it... because of that, both of us want to talk as friends... Though I cant make her mine, I will always try to remain as her friend... For now, that's also enough for me... I wish her happiness always....

4 comments:

cyberkid said...

u know, girls can be funny, they say they want frendship at first...Ekamu at the last moment they always change their mind and wnt more...better be careful wat u wish for mate ;) sayanora...nd one more thing, guess we are on the same page :P if u know wat i mean :P:P:P:P:P

Anonymous said...

Dude, what you are going through is a phase called infatuation. From your story it looks like you barely know her. But I'm sure she has lots of qualities you look for in the girl of your dreams. She's very beautiful I'm sure. But know this; you don't love her. Its not love that you have for her. At least not yet. From the events in your post it looks like she is looking for a shoulder to cry on and doesn't have an interest in you. There are many girls out there who look for caring guys like you. They will keep you around and will not show much interest. They know that you are into them and so you will hang around for sometime. If you really like her then make a move and see what happens. If she likes you she will come to you. If not she will vanish. Whatever happens, keep your cool. Don't depend on someone else for your happiness.

DSR said...

if u are loving someone dont keep it inside ur heart, just show it to her, something will happen then, keep it in ur heart and coz of that it pains a lot

Mike Abraham said...

its awesome post.. loved reading it ige...